Wednesday, August 02, 2006

in the beginning....

there was me.. now there is more than me x 7 (yes,spouse counts as kid), I have no issues with all the people it's just all the chores that go with it.
Take laundry(really please !) for instance , this is no small feat, if you miss one day you are screwed. I usually have to do about 2-3 loads aday. Now do the math if each person has 7 outfits , one for each day of the week, and there is 8 people , that is 56 items . 56 items do not fit in my washing machine all at once. Not even when I stuff them. Now realize this my children and I have more clothes than the Mall of America. I get rid of their outgrown stuff and bam we somehow aquire more. It is like owning guppies, they just keep reproducing.

Dishes is another thing , as of right now we do not own a dishwasher.(not because we live in the stone-age up here in Montana), because my very tight closet that you may call a kitchen, there is hardly enough room for my children and I to eat in, much less to put a dishwasher in. I thought about getting one of those counter top dishwashers , but the sheer size of my family's dirty dishes from one meal would make me have to do numerous loads, numerous times a day. WASTE!! Plus I have been doing dishes since I was 9 , I am fast and good. Now, if only my oldest would be this good so I can stop. One meal consists of 8 plates , umpteen silverwares, and dozen glasses. That my dear is just for lunch/ breakfast. Dinner is a whole nother story. If you count snacks in there or guests you might as well put on your resume that your a dishwasher.

General cleaning I can handle if I have working utensils of cleaning. If I had the merry maids utensils . Shoot if I had any working utensils. For every room in this house I have a broken vaccuum. No lie .I keep Hoover,Eureka, and the Red Devil, very rich. I actually have a 1960's hoover , mint condition . The only thing wrong with all these broken vaccums is that they do not have belts. Stupid,I know, lazy,I know. Believe me ,I know. My only reason for them being that way is that I run over things, and I break the belts . My husband works a million hours a day ,the last thing I really want to do is ask him to fix the vaccum. Then I get chasitised for all the things I vacuum up, money, toys, you name it I have vacuumed it up. I am sure in the book of vaccum abuse I am listed as a chronic abuser. I just have no control when it comes to vaccuming. So I just go buy new ones. Cheap new ones. Every year. I probably have bought more vaccums in one year than have gotten my oil change or a tune up, Now thats bad.

Dusting is easy just use whatever rag is near by and it's all gravy. Wiping walls is my personal demon. I hate it . With a passion. For some reason whenever I go to wash (or warsh ,as my sister -in-law calls it)Bunny Trail: What is warsh anyway? All the Montanan- Norewigians talk that way,well except for me. When I was growing up I used to argue on the correct sayings & speakings of Proper English. There is a story told again and again of how I broke my cousins nose when we were nine and she used to call spaghetti, pasgetti. ohh that still gets me heated.
ANYWAY, when I go to wash walls its like all the muscles in my arm disappear ,I just go slack. I hate washing walls. What exactly is it that posesses an eight- year old , to walk with both hands touching the walls for balance, when his 15 month old sister walks down the hallway UNASSISTED?

I always thought about hiring someone to come clean for us , like a cheap high-schooler or something , but I am horrible, I feel like I would have to clean the house up before they came to clean .I guess until I turn these children into cleaning machines , I will be toiling the day away....

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