Saturday, September 09, 2006

God , please hear my pity prayer!!

Ok.. I am sorry to do this esp. since I have been so lazy about blogging here.

Keith and I are supposed to be going on vacation next week.ALONE, without children! We will be riding the amtrak train on Wed, from Shelby,Mt. to Seattle. Now mind I should be overjoyed, and screaming of the rooftop, of HOW OVERJOYED I AM!!
Reality check, I am not overjoyed, not in the least bit. I am this close to having a nervous breakdown and chucking the whole idea out the window.
The tickets are paid for, the babysitter is lined up , daycare children and parents have found subs while I am gone, So what the hell is wrong with me?
Money or lack there of. I am waiting for my state reimbursment check.(for doing daycare) This is the check we will be using for food, shopping, and entertainment. We have paid all our bills for the month and are using this money for the trip. So until it is here I am on pins and needles waiting for the little bugger to show. Now I applied for direct deposit so it could show up at the bank at any given time between now and Monday or,if it came by mail it could be here between now and next year, (just kidding, I hope). I am doing every kind of prayer possible to have it come soon. Reasoning wiht me just doesn't work,unless it is right here in my hand ,I don't believe it is ever coming. It makes me anxious and high strung, because it is so out of my hands and I can't control when the mail will come or when the desposit gets directed. SO I sit here and wait and wait and sit. I am getting nothing done, except worrying some more. I should be cleaning my house , getting the kids stuff together, getting my stuff together, and all the other stuff you are supposed to do when you go on vacation, (except I wouldn't know what to do because I have never taken one!EVER, with out kids !)Please someone shoot me with some prozac now! This anxiety has reached a all time high.

I am begging , pleading with God, to let me have this vacation, so I can relax, and rejuvinate,because I am at my breaking point, I am overwhelmed with this whole mommy, housewife..thing that I just need a little break with hubby for some nookie and cheese cake or in his case , clam chowder. I need to step away from this home and have some time away from this town and everything in it so I can come back with a clear head and be able to focus on raising my children, getting dinner served and doing those damn dishes.

This little vacation has been a lonnnnnng time coming and at times seemed like it never would come, so now that it has snuck up on me , I am running around like a chicken with my head cut off. I feel like there is so much to do but I just don't know where to start. I hate getting overwhemed but it does seem to get the best of me. Btw , this is Keiths first vacation that hes taken where we didn't have to plan it around a birth of a child . SO he needs it to! Please GOD!!!!!
So if you love me or even if you don't love me please pray that this check comes before Wed,(like it is supposed to) and I just take a breath and calm down so I don't have to check myself into the hospital like I am about to! See I told you I needed this vacation!

Ok , God works in very mysterious ways, I opened the mail and while getting annoyed that the check wasn't there, I found this weird looking envelope, from an insurance company that my husband had for a business he used to own. Now I had a feeling it was a refund from them before , because an internal audit revealed they had overcharged alot of people. In December , we recieved a check from them and it came straight to our address . So I open the envelope up and sure enough its a refund check !!Awesome !!The weird thing is that it was sent to my old address , we havent lived there for almost 3 years! So if we would have recieved this a month ago , then we would have spent it , but because it was sent to the wrong address, it came exactly when I needed it most !!!! THANK YOU!!!!!!!! ok I am so stoked now!!

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